Well, I’ve not really said much over the last week or so, purely for the fact that I can be a lazy barsteward sometimes, however…. I do have an excuse…

I’ve no hot water, no central heating, and I’m in dire need of a shower… I can sense a 1 hour [...]]]>

Craig | Dearden News Snippets

Well, I’ve not really said much over the last week or so, purely for the fact that I can be a lazy barsteward sometimes, however…. I do have an excuse…

I’ve no hot water, no central heating, and I’m in dire need of a shower… I can sense a 1 hour shower coming on..!
And then, maybe a bath just to confirm it!

That is of course once we’ve paid £2.5k for our installation of the said boiler (and a new shower)!

Anyways – enough of my excuses, I’ve found a few snippets that I thought might be of interest to you all…!

Here goes:

Support for ‘bereaved’ architects – seriously? you have to be kidding, just because something you built is demolished in your lifetime, there’s no need to get bereavement treatment… surely? FFS! There is something seriously wrong here!

Ugg boot fetishist targeted girls – well… erm, do boys wear UGG boots?

US family turned into advertising – They’ll be turned into something else soon enough – like turned off!! haha!

Fizzy Pop League

Road signs mock club’s relegation – I really shouldn’t laugh, but I had to… out loud too… however I’m surprised there ain’t a sign for boro’s Riverside stadium too!

Sid James’ Park, the biggest stadium in the “Fizzy Pop” League…

Absolutely superb. Well done the mackems, it’s not often you do something so so so funny!

Singer Doherty on drugs charges – no? Again? surely not…? what a twat.

Console stolen from girl aged 3 – Who the fuck gives a 3 year old a Console!!!??? – Heck – Abacus in Early Learning Centre is for ages 3 and up!

Driving ban for sledge-tow father – My Dad would have been GOD if he did this back in my youthful days! brilliant, pity the poor bugger got caught!

Web 2.0 The Millionth English Word

In the name of art – the Ear is just totally gross, why any “slightly sane” person would want an ear of all things embedded in their arm is beyond me…

‘Web 2.0′ The Millionth English word…. what a feckin let down… however.. Web 2.0…. that to me is 4 words…
Web | two | point | zero
That’s 4 words shortened….
English Dictionaries obviously need a Maths Lesson (or two)

Anyhoo, time to go..
Awaiting the arrival of the engineers for the installation of my boiler..

Bring on the hot water!
Woooohoooooo

Laters
Craig…

Boyle not focus of TV complaints – oh really… – however the 10 year old greeting her eyes out was appalling, her mum should be slapped if you ask me! (don’t btw)!

I thought I’d put the whole of the UK POLITICS section, as quite frankly, ALL of the [...]]]>

Craig | Dearden News Snippets

Boyle not focus of TV complaints – oh really… – however the 10 year old greeting her eyes out was appalling, her mum should be slapped if you ask me! (don’t btw)!

I thought I’d put the whole of the UK POLITICS section, as quite frankly, ALL of the UK’s politicians are at it… why do we care – if we could get away with it – we probably would too!! – by the way – there’s an euro – election tomorrow…

Curry spice ‘help for arthritis’ – what happens if you don’t like Curry? now, this is a news snipped from October 2006, that just happened to appear in the top 5 of BBC’s shared list – it happens every so often, and it’s annoying as hell..!

‘No Israeli plan’ to bomb Iran – to be fair, they would hardly turn around and say – oh here, by the way – we’re planning to bomb you..

Zuma promises half a million jobs – Nice, a President is elected, and he promises 500,000 jobs…. surely that’s worse than any politician here in the UK??!

12million ££’s, that’s surely not right… ‘Stale’ fear spurred Barry move – so much for I want to play Champions League footie! – what a twat…

Wednesday’s gossip column – ah, what today… Drogba to Man City – more like Mercenary City! – It’s Man City this, Man City that… ffs!

Do you fancy £100,000 for introducing the buyer of this property? http://www.theoldbakehouse-tuckenhay.com

Well, not much in the way of news today….
Have a nice evening!

Well folks, late afternoon, early evening…. Andy Murray is on the telly (although it’s been watched online and he’s 1 set down).  A Plane has gone missing – however – it would seem it’s not lost now, it’s crashed, RIP to all on board, (Air France Plane Lost) [...]]]>

Craig | Dearden News Snippets

Well folks, late afternoon, early evening…. Andy Murray is on the telly (although it’s been watched online and he’s 1 set down).  A Plane has gone missing – however – it would seem it’s not lost now, it’s crashed, RIP to all on board, (Air France Plane Lost) – it now looks as though they’ve spotted some debri from the plane.

Staying with the bad news, my heartfelt sympathies go out to the family : Suicide jump boy had died at home – not just the same day – but 4 days earlier, the parents jumped off a cliff with the 5 year old in a rucksack, and toys in another rucksack, I know it’s suicide obviously, but aw, man, no need to do that… I’m gobsmacked.

Astronauts have space headache, researchers say – that raised an laugh out of me…. After quizzing 17 seasoned astronauts they found more than two-thirds suffered from headaches on missions yet were headache free back on earth. Umm…. and?? I get headaches at work – but not at home!!!! – doesn’t everyone??? pfft!

Ronald Reagan ‘appears and talks to Nancy’ – she’s obviously in need of some media attention…. However, I believe it.

Talent winners to star in 3D film – I wonder if Priory Clinic star Susan Boyle would be starring in the film if she’d won… Nope, you’re right – I don’t think so – her good looks would have been lost in a 3D film…

One thing I really love reading every day is the “Tuesday’s gossip column” (obviously name changes each day), it’s full of all the newspaper’s dubious stories… Tony Adams to Celtic, David Moyes offering £50k a week for Michael Owen to come to Everton, Robhino’s not leaving Man City (hey, they have a 50% chance of getting this one right – he either is or isn’t)! Real Madrid will use rookie striker Negredo as bait in a bid for Liverpool midfielder Xabi Alonso – but they will first have to buy back the forward from Almeria  – um – eh?! what a team…. Real Madrid – you’ve got to love their hype. – there are lots of other news/gossip that they update throughout the day – keep an eye on it!

Space Shuttle Piggy Back

Scientists have located 38 emperor penguin colonies in Antarctica by using satellites to look for stains from the animals’ droppings – cool as… give a new impetus to the Space program – let’s spy on the shite of Penguins… Droppings put penguins on map

And how cool is that – the Space Shuttle The space shuttle Atlantis rides piggyback on a 747 plane as the two depart from Edwards Air Force Base in California en route to Florida on 1 June 2009.

And do people who visit Dubai not understand, if you commit adultery or some other “against their views” act, then – here in the UK, you will be slagged off for it… or even worse – Jail Time! – nice! Adulterous couple jailed in Dubai – obviously not learned!

Boy is floored by Pietersen shot – aw, brilliant Pietersen has now gave the boy a signed Bat… which will no doubt be on Ebay next week.

So, GM have applied for Bankrupty protection in America…. some nice cars they’ve produced over the years, especially the Cadillac – have a look : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8068390.stm

Let’s go to the Welsh news, there’s normally something funny in there… (I’m not digging any Welsh folks btw) – Royal harpist on burglary charges – Please tell me you are kidding on.. ha no details on what “she” burgled…. Jemima Phillips, 27, from St Briavels, was the only musician to play at the wedding reception of the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall. hmm, wonder if she stole something from them!! haha!

Well, I can’t find anything else exciting today.. so that’s the news over…
(oh and if you are wondering – the Andy Murray game is now 1 set a-piece)

enjoy the rest of your evening..

Well, I can’t believe it’s the 1st of June. I’m off work, my wee one has been kept off nursery today, so thought I would catch up with my check of the news over the weekend and today.

The first one in my book is some woman called Susan Boyle, now I’ve [...]]]>

Craig | Dearden News Snippets

Well, I can’t believe it’s the 1st of June.
I’m off work, my wee one has been kept off nursery today, so thought I would catch up with my check of the news over the weekend and today.

The first one in my book is some woman called Susan Boyle, now I’ve managed to stay away from the TV, so understand that she was due to win Britains Got Talent, however she was pipped to the post by a group of 2 sets of brothers.  Aw, shame….

Now, I kinda did feel sorry for her, but the media have built her up to fall as they normally do with all the celebs,.,  So in-keeping with their usual – they had a complete turnaround in the last few weeks – from a national hero to a disturbed individual..

So – I check the news this morning, as I normally do, and guess what… the poor woman has been admitted to the Priory Clinic – apparently sectioned under the mental health act…. omg, media u-turn wins yet again..
Talent star Boyle taken to clinic

Of course, the big news of the day is really the (currently) missing French plane over the Atlantic – French plane lost over Atlantic – it apparently lost communication during an electrical storm…! eek…!  Apologies and possible sympathies to anyone with family onboard

Stage legend La Rue dies at 81 – Drag act now a deceased drag act.

Rapper Eminem was not in the mood for butt cheeks in his face Sunday night – and it was evident when funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen landed on Eminem’s neck half naked after a stunt went awry at the MTV Movie Awards last night.. personally I think it was staged… however – looking at it – it was staged, but I don’t think Eminem knew about it – Sacha certainly did…. but Eminem didn’t – and duly stormed off!! – t. w. a. t. – Have a look at Sacha on Eminem Here

Another snippet of News today, has to be the worst kept secret in football, and especially after Ancelotti resigned from AC Milan yesterday….. of course – today – Ancelotti appointed Chelsea boss

Surely this is a Joke – Rangers fans aren’t pigs? nor would they touch pigs? – Rangers fans in swine flu alert

sticking in Scotland and the Old Firm – Celtic have made an official approach for Swansea City boss Roberto Martinez. No way – this is appalling… shocking… at least appoint a top manager…. from Premiership… not a Swansea City boss…

Well, I think that’s it for today, if I find something stupid or the like, then I’ll add it below!

Have a good day!

The first one I noticed this morning (it was 7am) was about how the Safe Sex campaign was a waste of money, apparently “Want respect? Use a condom” campaign included a specially-made drama series, called “Thmbnls” which cost £250,000. – eek – that [...]]]>

Second days posts, wow, I didn’t think there was so many dodgy headlines.

The first one I noticed this morning (it was 7am) was about how the Safe Sex campaign was a waste of money, apparently “Want respect? Use a condom” campaign included a specially-made drama series, called “Thmbnls” which cost £250,000. – eek – that was well promoted – did YOU hear about it? nope? me neither. complete waste.
however – there was a joke regarding the Swine Flu earlier this month… 90 people get swine flu and everyone wears a mask; MILLIONS have AIDS & people still don’t use condoms. – this to me had more impact!!!

Cobra Beer

Cobra Indian Recipe Beer

They have went up the swanny, (but knowing they were going up the swanny).  They have been bought by Coors.  Reports suggest that Cobra Beer racked up £16million worth of debt in 2008.  how do you do that? give money away? I mean seriously…

Cobra, which markets itself as a “less gassy” lager, is popular in Indian restaurants. It is sold in 6,000 restaurants in the UK.

It has spent £40m on marketing since it was founded in 1989 as it has tried to break into the pub trade.

They shouldn’t have tried to break in, as they are now in administration, well done!

Why do people want to fix things all the time when what they are doing is working perfectly well.

The old addage – if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it!

This next one bugs me – No knighthood for Alan Bennett – “It wouldn’t suit me.” – FFS – get a grip, you’ve been honoured.

Glitch sees £10,000 trillion ferry fare – Yes you read right – £10,000TRILLION!!! -
£10,000trillion, wow, – by the way – it’s normally only £150 to Belfast!! – but people putting in for quotes on prices were quoted this ridiculous price online – The firm said that the problem had been on the site for about a week and that customers receiving inflated ticket prices were being redirected to call centres where they would get their discount. – Would it not have been easier to change the price online??? – no – we’ll wait a week and get some press coverage… free advertising… you gotta love it.

Beavers return to Scottish forest after a 400-year gap – my my – that’s one hell of a hibernation…

Wedding rescue for surfing couple – Unreal – your Reception guests??? Let’s go surfing whilst the rest of the guests enjoy the party!!! – We’ll just get caught out at sea….

Dying man wins bet he would live – Congratulations – I hope you win the other £10k next year… hats off to you.

Korean dish ‘may cure bird flu’ – Is that WITH or WITHOUT the North Korean Nuclear Testing?

What’s worse, being Politically Correct, or just being Plain Stupid.  Well, what’s my aim with this post I hear you say… It’s basically to throw you some news, in a more functional and “funny” way…

So let’s see, where to start, browsing through the news pages of the BBc website we [...]]]>

Craig | Dearden News Snippets

What’s worse, being Politically Correct, or just being Plain Stupid.  Well, what’s my aim with this post I hear you say… It’s basically to throw you some news, in a more functional and “funny” way…

So let’s see, where to start, browsing through the news pages of the BBc website we see that Phil Spector has been jailed for at LEAST 19 years, he’s 69 now, he’ll be 88 when he gets out.  Personally, he ain’t gonna make it 19 years.  What’s even funnier for me is the fact that it’s listed in BBc’s Entertainment section, seriously – it’s not entertainment, he killed someone ffs. Phil Spector on BBc News

elsewhere… Slumdog child stars to get new homes from the Indian government and Director Danny Boyle – They must have paid them well then, nothing like cashing in on foreign labour, they had to live with relatives…. nice one Danny. (hope you made a rupee or two)(I’m sure you did/will). Slumdog Millionaire on BBc News

The Britains Got Talent final line up is complete #BGT (as the hashtag on twitter is affectionately known), do I care? NO. It’s nice as well to see the 180° u-turn on Susan Boyle as well, she’s now in safe keeping in a Safe House, that’s gonna settle her nerves…. get in there!!!  British Media – don’t you just love it.

Scottish news: HP ‘agrees to help’ job axe staff – fantastic….. you are not sacking them anymore… oh wait… you are still sacking them… nice… HP #fail..! (sorry twitter speak creeping in again)!

Party aims to ‘clean up’ politics – I thought we were all getting invited to a knees up! (alas no – it’s the same old same old)

US President Barack Obama has announced plans for securing American computer networks against cyber attacks. He said that from now on, America’s digital infrastructure would be treated as a strategic national asset.He announced the creation of a cyber security office in the White House, and said he would personally appoint a “cyber tsar”. – Craig Dearden…. no honestly – they phoned me last night on my secure line… which MI5 have tapped, bugged etc… and I’ve now been arrested…

Murray breaks new ground in Paris – it was Clay – surely he couldn’t break ground?? ah, I get it…. you meant he breaks wind in Paris

Tassel hassle – NOW THAT LOOKS an interesting link!!! lol – eek – just looked – it’s about strip joints… Burlesque…. that’s a bit risque!

Seven million ‘use illegal files’ – really? that low? – surely there’s even more now with the high profile Pirate Bay case, oh shit, don’t get me started on that!!

I think that should do for my first effort, it’s been a fun attempt…
More later tomorrow I think, I’m enjoying this!